Not Liverpools,A dry cabinet is a storage container in which the interior is kept at a low level of humidity. two Big Cups, one Euro Pot

You have decided to retire and as is customary in such circumstances will no doubt be presented with an expensive watch ..Learn how an embedded microprocessor in a smart card can authenticate your computer usage and data.. which is kind of ironic because you won't need one now that you have decided that a life spent standing on touchlines, vigorously pointing at one while shouting at referees is no longer the life for you. You spent 27 years at Manchester United and won 13 Not Liverpools, two Big Cups, one Euro Pot, five FA Pots and four three-handled Tin Pots, which is a tidy haul and no mistake. For that alone the Fiver salutes you.

But look closely at the Fiver as it holds its rigid raised right hand to the brim of its titfer and you will see hot salty tears coursing down its otherwise impassive face. Tears of sorrow at what lies ahead: endless weeks that should have been fallow and football-free, in which the Fiver will be forced to listen to endless simpering tributes to your legacy from fawning press johnnies you openly despised and occasionally bullied, not to mention idle, ill-informed speculation about your successor, who the Fiver's idly predicting right now will be David Moyes. Or somebody other than David Moyes. But not Jos Mourinho. The Fiver's never been one to shirk the Big Calls and we're not afraid to holler that one from the roof-top of Fiver Towers.

Of course Fergie's decision to retire raises no end of pertinent questions, the most sensible of which will be addressed by proper journalists in Big Paper, but the Fiver has a few as well. How many of the tributes to Lord Ferg that will appear in tomorrow's newspapers mention wine, because Lord Ferg once mentioned that he likes wine? Will hacks banned from his Friday briefings continue to be banned or be allowed back in once there's a new sheriff in town? Who will patronise Sky Sports reporter Geoff Shreeves by patting him on the shoulder and saying "well done" for asking questions? Will anyone be brave enough to present Lord Ferg with a mounted, solid gold Revlon 9142CU Powerdry 2000 hair dryer as his retirement gift,Shop for wholesale free shipping ear cap directly from China. because it would actually be quite funny and we're curious to see what would happen next?

The Fiver would certainly chip in for one and sign the card, not least because over the past 10 (or is it longer?) years, the venerable Lord Ferg has been a rich source of material for the world's most tea-timely email and we're at a loss to know how we'll cope with him no longer in office and Phil Brown likely to be out of a job at Southend United by the end of August.

There was the time he kicked that boot into David Beckham's fizzog, the time he ensured Manchester United ended up saddled with hundreds of millions of pounds worth of Glazer debt because he fell out with some rich men over a horse, the time he told Manchester United fans to "go and support Chelsea" if they weren't pleased with all that debt-saddling, the time he refused to speak to the BBC for six years over some perceived slanderous slight that still hasn't made it to court, the time he refused to talk to Manchester United's propaganda wing Pravda TV because they had the temerity to report some things he said and the 172,643 times he criticised assorted referees, labelling them overweight, slow, blind, incompetent, biased and unfit for purpose or anything else.

It's no exaggeration to say that the Fiver will genuinely miss Lord Ferg, so much so that we're going to adopt the position of in-the-know pundit and Manchester United insider Pat Crerand, the club alickadoo who, like a Japanese soldier still fighting the second world war 40 years after its conclusion, went on Irish radio station Newstalk this morning to add his garland to those threatening to submerge the departing manager. "I think it's a load of rubbish," harrumphed Pat. "I can't believe it for one minute that the manger is thinking of leaving." The Fiver's with Pat on this one and looks forward to next season when it will continue its splendid parasitic working relationship with Lord Ferg, in which the Manchester United manager gives, gives, gives and we take, take, take.

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